You remember his hand to have touched
your shoulder as a sign of comfort,
and remember that he wished you the best.
He said, “Take care” and bade goodbye;
that was the last train you’d ride together.
But goodbyes are never permanent.
You promised to call two days later.
It starts when you alight the train
with a bounce in your steps
and a smile on your face.
The world looks nice, wrapped in
a cloud of light and melodies;
nothing out of place, nothing broken,
life had never looked so good.
When you get home, the light dies
like the flame blown out from a candle,
and everything’s darker, as it’s always been.
How short your happiness lasted.
See, it wasn’t his presence shielding you
from the bitter truth. Nor was it hope.
It was you pretending that he was the world.
It was you associating him with safety,
and all the good things in life.
He can never do you wrong,
will never hurt you, will never leave.
So you trust and ignore the lesson laid out.
Two days later, and every week, for months
you call and hide from your troubles.
It’s not healthy, this dependency,
where only he can make you laugh,
where only he can make you smile and
keep hoping that things will get better.
It’s not safe, this patronization
because you never learn and
you never do things on your own.
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